At the end of the day, all people really want in this life is good vibes. Of course, we mean that in the emotional/spiritual/mental way, but we also mean that in the very literal way — the vibrator way. And we can all but guarantee that investing in the latter will help boost the former.
Likely, you don’t need us to list the virtues of having a vibrator you can rely on — the benefits of getting yourself off speak for themselves. Finding that reliable vibrator though, can be a whole other story. Even if you’re proud of the sex toy stash you’ve built up, confronting the sheer number of options when it comes to picking out a new vibe is overwhelming. And if you’re new to the game? Well, picking that perfect first vibe can feel next to impossible.
Does the perfect vibrator exist?
Yes! Also, no. As with everything else when it comes to sex, what makes a good vibrator relies a lot on a single factor — your own preferences. That’s not to say there aren’t key features you should look for in a vibe, but what one person’s perfect vibrator is can be another person’s buzzing nightmare.
On Mashable’s own sex and relationships team, clit suction toys are highly divisive, pointing to the very obvious fact that different people enjoy different sensations, and therefore praise different vibrators as The Best. All of this to say, if you’ve tried a vibrator that didn’t do a whole lot for you despite testimony after testimony that it would give you the best orgasms of your life, all that means is that your sex toy search continues, not that there’s anything wrong with you.
How to choose your vibrator
Vibrators come in all different shapes, sizes, and though they perform the same basic function, vary quite a bit in how they get you there. Finding exactly what works for you can be a sometimes frustrating, but ultimately very sexy and fun process, that requires you pay attention to what you like and what you’re less fond of.
Vibration speeds and patterns
In this case of vibration speeds and patterns, more does not necessarily equal better. Sure, it can be fun to mix it up from time to time, but clicking through 11 different settings if you accidentally hit a button mid-masturbation isn’t exactly the definition of a good time. Still, if you’re someone who likes a vibrator that’ll keep you on your toes, having the variation can be nice.
Buzzy vs. rumbly
In addition to programmed vibration intensities, speeds, and patterns, vibrators fall into three categories: rumbly, buzzy, or somewhere in between. Some brands, like Dame, will put where a vibe falls right on the product page, but in other instances, its worth taking a glance through the reviews to see what people say. Typically, battery-powered vibes are buzzier. Rumbly vibrators tend to have lower frequency vibrations that are quieter and can be felt deeper, while buzzy are higher in frequency, are louder, and keep sensations more surface level, which can be great for pinpointed stimulation (though some people complain that this causes a numbing sensation). For your convenience, we’ve made sure to mark where all the vibrators below fall.
Size and shape
The Magic Wand is a cult favorite for a reason. But despite its general reliability, a larger wand vibrator doesn’t necessarily scream discreet. This wand in particular tends to be louder, and definitely requires more real estate in your nightstand drawer.
The size of a vibrator can also determine the different or limited ways you can use it. The Magic Wand as it comes with no attachments and isn’t designed to be put inside of you. A bullet vibrator, however, probably can (though we recommend following a brand’s instructions about the safe ways to use its sex toys). At the very least, a smaller and more compact vibe can be better for use during intercourse, if that’s when and where you plan on using your vibrator the most.
If your vibrator isn’t made out of quality material or all that easy to clean, you probably won’t be reaching for it all that much, even if you’re horny 24/7. Simply put, if you’re regularly putting something near, on, or in your genitals, you’ll want to make sure that something is safe and that it can take a nice thorough clean after. This might mean that you stay away from those mildly sketchy super cheap vibrators and invest a little more, which doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll have to sacrifice affordability.
Some vibrators run on teeny, tiny, batteries, but most these days (especially if you’re paying a bit more) are USB rechargeable. If you notice a vibrator uses a magnetic USB charger, it is most likely splash-proof and maybe even waterproof, which is especially good news if you like you use your time in the bath to really relax. Most rechargeable vibes have at least 30 minutes of runtime in them, but it’s definitely worth double checking if you know you like taking your time and dislike feeling rushed.
Good vibes await you
On this list, you’ll find vibrators designed to tease you until you can’t take it, get you there in two minutes flat, or let you choose the speed that day. You can choose one for now or stock up on a few to use for different occasions. In any case, you deserve the best of the best, so here are our top picks for vibrators for 2022 (so far).